Asking for help, not permission
You blinked and now the return to work is coming up soon. You have calls with HR and your boss on the calendar, but aren’t sure what to say.
You know you’re going to have some new needs and priorities, but what is the best way to communicate them without feeling weird or needy or oversharing?
What will you have control over and what is dictated by your workplace?
What should you ask permission for, and what should you inform them you will need?
When to ASK
If you plan to continue breastfeeding and need to pump during the workday, ask HR:
- What space has been designated for you to use as a secure pumping location
- How to access that space
- If that space needs to be shared by other staff, and if so, who is responsible for working out a schedule
- For additional reasonable considerations to make the space comfortable, if needed. (When I was pumping, the space was unheated and if I hadn’t asked for a space heater, I would have frozen. Another friend had to ask for a lamp because the space was completely unlit. It seems obvious, but since many of these spaces are little used, you may need to ask for basic things).
When it’s better to just TELL people what you’ll be doing
Tell your boss and close colleagues that you will be pumping and will have regular times each day when you are unavailable.
Obviously there is a respectful way to say this, and depending on your job you may or may not have to loop others in for scheduling reasons. But the point is, do not ask IF you can pump. It is your decision and your workplace is legally required to give you time for this.
When it’s best to just do it, and have the conversation later (if needed)
For those who have a degree of control over their schedules, it may not be necessary to tell anyone directly how frequently you need to pump. (At least not within the 1-3x a work day that most new moms need to pump. If your experience is far outside this average, or if you do not have a measure of control over your schedule, it might be a different story).
If you control your calendar, I highly recommend putting a regular hold that others cannot schedule over. Then do the hard work of maintaining that boundary and not making exceptions. If anyone pushes back or asks why, one short tutorial on mastitis should close the topic once and for all. Your boobs will thank you later.
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