When I was pregnant, I suddenly started to notice the parents around me. I mean, I always noticed them as people, but I started to really tune into their identities as parents. How they showed up in the world in their parenting role. In my sudden fascination, I started to notice that there were two main kinds of new parents.
(Ok, before anyone yells at me, I know there are as many “kinds of parents” as there are parents. I’m trying to make a point. Bear with me here).
Type 1: Has their sh*t together.
You know the type. Takes their kid to mommy and me classes at like 5 minutes old. Looks like a renaissance painting while nursing. Is back to friends’ night within a couple of weeks and back at the gym the moment their doctor lets them. They somehow look more rested than pre-parenthood.
No shade. These people somehow actually seem to exist. If this is you, can you call me and teach me your ways?
Type 2: Just a mess.
They forget how long it’s been since they last slept…or showered, and it shows. They’re wearing an odd assortment of summer and winter clothes, possibly backward, definitely rumpled. Their child is somehow always crying in the restaurant/movie theatre, and they’re always flustered.
FYI, I thought I’d be #2 for a while, then hopefully transition to #1. You know…within like 2-4 weeks.
Spoiler alert: I was wrong.
So wrong. Wrong about the time to transition to parent type #1, about my ability to be parent #1 at all, and wrong about there being two types of parents.
BECAUSE THERE ARE 3 KINDS OF NEW PARENTS!
Yes, there were parents who made parenting look easy (#1), parents who made parenting look hard (#2), but there were also parents who you never saw (#3). These are the parents that seem to drop off the face of the earth after having their baby. Not because they’re so in love that they just don’t care to leave their house (though I’m told those parents exist too), but because everything is so overwhelming that they can’t pause survival mode long enough to go anywhere.
Parent type #3 is more common than you think, but no one thinks about them because no one sees them.
But I see you, new parent #3. I was you, for a while there.
The good news is that, if you’re #3 now, you absolutely do not need to stay that way. With support, a fully functional, completely messy life as a #2 can be yours! For a limited time, dial 1-800…..
Seriously though. The beautiful thing about parent type #2 is that, while they make parenting look hard, they still get out and experience life. They might be rumpled and frazzled, but they’re out of the house, talking to friends again, and putting one foot in front of the other. And honestly, parenting IS hard. So why shouldn’t it look hard too?
For all the parent type #2s out there, looking to grow, give Kim Kardashian a call for tips on how to get to #1. Kidding/not kidding 🙂 We still love you, type #1 parents.
Leave a Reply